The Provider...

So thinking about manhood and the role of the husband or male in a relationship (thanks Frat Advance), I began to think about being "the provider". That's a big deal yet it's been minimized to simply being the provider of money for the family. In hearing discussions on a male being the provider for their family, its often scaled down to a provider of money. So much to the point where men, and even women, feel as the main qualification for a husband is one with a job making more than their female counterpart or being the "breadwinner" of the home. While it's important to have that desire to contribute, is financial provision the extent of that man role?

"The provider" truly involves so much more. Take for example, Abraham calling God "Jehovah Jireh", or God our Provider. Abraham clearly wasn't naming God the character of "the Provider" simply for monetary provision. God was the provider of a ram to sacrifice in the place of Abraham's son.

Alot of times as men, the meter for if she's THE ONE is if she's willing to give everything for her man. It's selfishly motivated. It's valued by, if she's the ride-or-die chick. We fall in love with the woman who we find is willing to give everything for their man, much like Abraham was willing to give his most prized possession (his son) up for God. We'd leave all the player days, dating days, and childish games to the boys and be ready to settle when we find the one who's willing to do that. But then are we keen enough to see the opportunity to provide the ram in order to protect our counterpart from the hurt, pain, and emotions of losing something of value?

Our calling as men and as a husband is a calling to sacrifice. Be the ram in the bush. Be the reflection of Christ in the marraige. Christ died in order to reconcile relationship between man and God. Having the trait of a willingness to represent God's love through a willingness to sacrifice all, even life, for the reconciliation of relationship. It's our role to be sensitive to the needs of the household, and be "the provider" of that need. Everyone's needs are different in every household...the question is, can you be the provider for your unique home and relationship?

So when I think of "the provider", the question is, how much am I willing to sacrifice to provide money? How much am I willing to sacrifice to provide protection? How much am I willing to sacrifice to provide food? "The provider" role his HUGE! The maturity of a man preparing for marriage can be valued through self-introspection. Now that I'm engaged and getting ready for marriage, as soon as I "put the ring on her",I've gotten so many questions from frat and friends (as though at 26 I'm the expert on relationships...lol), asking how do you know when your ready? Or how do you know when you've found the right one? Or how do you prepare for marriage? Fellas, I'm learning that self introspection is the way to start. You're not ready until you're in a place where your willing to sacrifice all, including your life, for the woman that you love.

The grass is greener!

The Davis Boys
The Jones’s always seemed to be synonymous with the Davis Boys, or so it seemed. No we weren’t rich, but we really didn’t go lacking, or so I thought. Our parents know everyone in the city and the Davis’s are a great family…true, but I’ve come to see the truth of the grass always seems greener on the other side. Yea it’s green until you climb the fence, get up close, and begin to see all $h*% “feces” in the ground fertilizing that grass!

But really, almost like an out of body experience, looking at my life I realize that for a lot of people we were the Jones’s. For anyone that has ever been to my home, you know I refer to it as a live sitcom. You’re entertained by the dramatic antics of the characters in the house, but everyone likes all the characters…and at the end of every episode, there’s a great ending and always keeps you wanting more (or coming back to visit).

We were a close family, 2 parent household, with 2 boys always kempt, well-mannered, and destined for success. We had a great support system, grew up in the church, excelled in all we were involved in. All-star athletes, leads in school plays and music concerts, both class presidents in high school (7 of our 8 years), minister, strong Christians…. We weren’t ever in gangs or fell to the streets…always the well-raised kids. Had problems, yes? But problem children? Far from it. Sound good?


Well there’s an invisible pressure that goes along with that. The more people that put you on a pedestal, the more people you inevitably disappoint. The pressure creates fear and makes some of the simple things in life very difficult. It has taken me to experience life and maturity, to recognize that we are susceptible to difficult times.

It’s very true that the more you live life, the more you see and learn. I’ve come to a realization…Life’s pains, pressures, hardships and circumstances are not void of anyone. So many people share the same story. Yet we are so scared to share thinking that our story is different or unheard of. Sure it’s unique but there’s always someone of relevancy that can relate to the emotional state. So many of others’ situations that seemed so distant are sometimes reality and are very close. A lot of my life has seemed like a utopia or almost handwritten. Whereas so many people have crazy lifestories, or crazy testimonies…my life seemed quite simple…or so I thought. My life is my life…there’s no one else that could have lived it, or responded to life’s situations in the same manner.

But at the end of the day, James 1 tells us that trials produce character. So I’ll take the feces…it just makes my grass greener!

Bible in a Year...

So I'm starting with a group of friends reading the "Bible in a Year". The bible is mapped out with daily readings to complete the entire bible in a year. This should be interesting...why? I don't really like reading...lol. We'll see how this works out.

But a couple of good things about this is that the readings are not that long. Also, I've committed to learning to be more consistent in 2010...what a measurable way to do that! I've done a few things to help me with this. I've made my desktop background the reading schedule. hopefully this will help me keep it in the forefront of my mind. I've made a Word File to document any revelation or insight I get during the readings. Some I plan to share and others I will keep to reflect on later in the years. Also, doing it with others will hopefully help me remain motivated to keep going. But...365 days is a long time to do one thing! I guess only time will tell...

Verse 2: "Summer, Winter, Springtime, and Harvest..."

"Summer, Winter, Springtime, and Harvest...Great is thy Faithfulness" the lyrics to the 2nd verse of one of my favorite hymns Great is thy Faithfulness comes to mind as I enter into 2010.

It seems like I've heard more than ever this year a general sentiment of 2009 being a rough year. Its funny...for me, I cant put my lips around saying the year was "bad". So in the last 365 days, I have literally and figuratively personally experienced every season. Emotionally, this year was a huge roller coaster. There was stress, death, sickness, happiness, new songs, fun, disappointment...and my life experiences were all over the place.

I had so many first timers that I experienced. First time as an adult losing an immediate family member and dealing with family grief closely; new emotions. First time dealing with my mother in the hospital and battling serious illness; new emotions. First time being unemployed; new emotion. First time as a fiance; new emotions. However, I've learned so much...in each season, there was a consistency of contentment. More than ever, I've been challenged to trust in the sovereignty of God. In every tough time, I've seen more than ever, the lessons revealed through the situation. For every battle, there has been victory and while some times were tough, the joy of God's revelation was strength! I truly thank God for eyes to see and ears to hear revelation of His sovereignty in every situation.

In 2010, I feel more equipped than ever to be content with whatever season I'm in. While prosperity, good times, and material blessings would be great, I've found more and more that it's all meaningless. So much is temporal...yet I've spent so much to chase that which blows like the wind...literally all comes and goes. This year, I'm chasing God...His love, joy, peace and consistency.

Just like in the bible days, when God revealed a part of His character, biblical figures called Him by that name. For 2009, I call God Consistent. And as I've learned this part of his character and attempt to be more like Him, in my stretch to be more like Christ this year, I plan to be more consistent and disciplined in 2010!

God, help me to be more like you. It is my desire to learn more of your character and identify with the totality of who you are. I, now more than ever, know you to be consistent. Lord, please help me to be more consistent in all areas of my life; in relationship with you and with others, in ministry, in personal development, in helping others, in pursuit of purpose. Help me stay focused on me bringing you Glory. Convict me, control me, and cover me. In Jesus name, Amen.